LAZY F WORKING GUEST RANCH  A Working Guest Ranch Where Guests Learn to Be Cowboys Will Rogers Cowboy Wisdom is as ageless as the ideal of the cowboy and as direct as the old rancher, who looks you in the eye and "tells you like it is" and tough if you don't like it.. It is the common sense and wry humorous observations of and about life, found at the  Texas cattle auction cafes, where ranchers and cowboys meet their friends to cuss and discuss.. The talent of Will Rogers was to take these cowboy observations and comments and put them into short pithy tongue-in-cheek sayings that will never grow old and always apply whether you like it or not..

Clay Allen P.O. Box 9 Smiley, Texas 78159

No matter what a person's occupation or place in life, the wisdom of Will Rogers can be understood, appreciated (or not, if it "hits you close to home") and will always be applicable. People who work in agriculture, whether raising animals or crops, have pretty sharp, "down to earth", sometimes sarcastic observations of the lessons of life. The educated cowboy may seem to be an oxymoron, but if you reverese the order of the words then you have "cowboy education" and THAT, pardner, can be more precious than gold.

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was
probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy
the following:

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back
in your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The
few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the
electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from
bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and
then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER..

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your
age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want
people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some
of the roads weren't paved

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or
leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it
is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was
called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have
anything to laugh at when you are old.

Cowboy Wisdom

Never miss a chance to rest your horse

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Only cows know why they stampede.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then, to make sure it's still there with ya.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

All I know is what I read in the papers.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Don't name a cow you plan to eat.

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

Keep skunks, lawyers, developers, and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.

A bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

Meanness don't happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Don't sell your mule to buy a plough.

Don't corner something meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

Every trail has some puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

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